NEED ANOTHER MOTHER'S VIEW?Talking with other mothers, I see that much of the time it’s hard for us to know that we are doing right. It's almost impossible to talk about it as well. For one thing, nobody gets how funny it is that we’re all now somehow old enough to be taking care of these crazy, emotional, energetic kids running around. The life is intense. I guess without a sense of humor most of our kids would be chained to a rock while we threw bread crusts at them while muttering insanely. Some moms (maybe after reading my stories) will brighten up and talk to me about their uneasy feelings about motherhood. Like turning into zombies from lack of sleep, having no relationship with their spouses (wait, did they ever have one they wonder -- 'cause losing their memories is another complaint), eating bad food (by the handful with one hand while the baby nurses), and a million others. Mostly there’s the strange feeling, especially in those early years, of being suddenly isolated. Even if you weren’t that social to begin with. Suddenly the only people you know well are all under two feet tall.
What do I do when they get hurt? ASK ME, I'M JUST ANOTHER MOTHER, BUT MAYBE SOMETHING SMART WILL POP OUTThen there are those rare moments you get to talk with other mothers, and, wait, the sun comes out, there is hope. Someone else understands. Maybe there are legions of us.That's the purpose of this page. Ask me about the things that are annoying you, that are making you laugh when you should be disapproving, that make you wonder what a "good mother" would do ... things you hesitate to talk about, that are making you feel alone with no one to talk to. I don't have advice for everything, but I will tell you when I have no clue what to say. And maybe we can get a good conversation going.
How would a good mother keep them out of harm's way? PARENTS ASK, I RESPOND AS BEST I CANIn my stories, I write about a lot of my pratfalls and recoveries as a mother. Being able to have an exchange about issues and concerns and solidarity is real important I think. Let's talk. 
Does a good mother make them wear clothes? I will be excerpting the hotter conversations (questions, answers, discussion) in this space below. Here are the first of the mother advice exchanges: from C.B. in 10011 (zip code): Should you ever confront the parents of a preschooler who hit your child? Even after a note was sent home by the teacher? answer from Julie: Answering your question about the hitting preschooler parents -- I wouldn't confront them. Let it go. Unless the kid is a persistent bully, then talk to the teachers about what to do next. Preschool aged kids go through phases - hitting, biting, kicking, spitting. The teachers are there to help them learn better ways to express themselves without hurting anyone! This is what preschool is for! It's hard not to get all riled up, but let the incident become a thing of the past and look forward to the next mini-trauma! Luckily, they pass quickly. from K.S. in 47361: we have started pottie training our two year old. were not having any luck. could she just not be ready. answer from Julie: You can try potty training your two year old if she shows an interest! It's probably hit or miss at this age (ha ha) -- the way my daughter learned quickly was in the summertime - we just left her diaper off. She'd have a few accidents before she'd learn to run to the potty. You can always ask her if she wants to try the potty every time you use it. And making sure she tries going every hour or so after you eat. If you're ever having to wrestle her into the bathroom, or if you both are having too much trouble with it (crying, angry) then leave it alone. There's no rush. It should be a gentle, positive experience. You know your daughter best -- if she's curious, let her try. If she's curious and then isn't interested after a week or so, let her go back to diapers. Or you can put her in those thick, cotton training pants underwear. It depends on how much you care about wet pants, or accidents, or how much time you have to devote to helping her. You helping her is what will make the transition easy for both of you. If it isn't working, try again in a month or so. You have plenty of time. I liked using the thick, training pants underwear because it looked so cute on my kids, and they were comfortable. Plus when they had an accident in those underpants, it felt yucky to them, and they would try to keep their pants dry (which is what you want). Good luck! from H.M. in 26208: My daughter was potty trained before she was two years of age. Then her brother came along and she completely back tracked. She's jealous and wants to still be the baby.. HELP answer from Julie: I don't know how old your daughter is, but let her be the baby! Let her help show the baby how to go on the little potty, letting her use it first. Then tell her how great it is that she knows how to use BOTH the little potty and the big potty. Tell her you need her help showing the baby how to use the BIG potty, since all babies start on the little one and move on to the bigger one. Next time they have to go, stick the little potty next to the bigger potty, and let them use them at the same time. Have her show the baby how after he figures out the little potty, he'll be able to use the big potty. Every time she uses the big potty, give her an MnM or small treat. Tell her only big kids who use the big potty get treats like that. Tell her it's fun to pretend to be a baby, and you understand how she wants to be a baby. But tell her that when she starts using the big potty again, you'll throw her a special potty party. (That's where you decorate the bathroom at night and surprise her with it in the morning. And when she uses the potty all day, she gets a treat, like going to the park or for ice cream, or to the dollar store.) My kids regressed at first, too, when the new baby was using the potty. You can also steer her away from being the baby in the bathroom and steer her toward being your baby in other areas. Like tell her, "You are still my baby, too. We need to let your brother use the little potty, but if you still want to play "baby" with me, after you use the big potty, I will wrap you in a blanket and carry you around, or sing to you and feed you off a spoon like a baby." Your daughter will LOVE the attention, and the novelty of the tiny potty will wear off. (By the way, it will wear off even if you take NO action!) If you focus all the rewards on using the big potty, and don't make too big a deal out of the occasional little potty use, she'll grow right out of it. Good luck! Hope this helps!
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