NEED ANOTHER MOTHER'S VIEW?

Talking with other mothers, I see that much of the time it’s hard for us to tell the truth. Either we just tune out (because no one could really be interested, they're only pretending) or else we can see that nobody gets how funny it is that we’re all now somehow old enough to be taking care of these crazy, emotional, energetic kids running around. The life is intense. I guess without a sense of humor most of these kids would be chained to a rock while we threw bread crusts at them while muttering insanely. Some moms (after reading my stories) will brighten up and talk to me about their uneasy feelings about motherhood. Like turning into zombies from lack of sleep, having no relationship with their spouses (did they ever have one they wonder -- losing their memories is another complaint), eating bad food (by the handful with one hand while the baby nurses), and a million others. Mostly there’s the strange feeling, especially in those early years, of being suddenly isolated. Even if you weren’t that social to begin with. Suddenly the only people you know well are all under two feet tall.

How is a mother to behave after the fall?

How do I keep them out of harm's way?

When should I start making them wear clothes?

How do I explain the world around us?

ASK ME, I'M JUST ANOTHER MOTHER, BUT MAYBE SOMETHING SMART WILL POP OUT

That's the purpose of this page. You do exist and you are funny. Ask me about the things that are annoying you, that are making you laugh when you should be disapproving ... things you hesitate to talk about, that are making you feel alone with no one to talk to. I don't have advice for everything, but I will tell you when I have no clue what to say. And maybe we can get a good conversation going.

PARENTS ASK, I RESPOND AS BEST I CAN

I will be excerpting the hotter conversations (questions, answers, discussion) -- always with your permission -- in this space. Here are the first of the exchanges:

from C.B. in 10011 (zip code): Should you ever confront the parents of a preschooler who hit your child? Even after a note was sent home by the teacher?

answer from Julie: Answering your question about the hitting preschooler parents -- I wouldn't confront them. Let it go. Unless the kid is a persistent bully, then talk to the teachers about what to do next.

Preschool aged kids go through phases - hitting, biting, kicking, spitting. The teachers are there to help them learn better ways to express themselves without hurting anyone! This is what preschool is for!

It's hard not to get all riled up, but let the incident become a thing of the past and look forward to the next mini-trauma! Luckily, they pass quickly.

from K.S. in 47361: we have started pottie training our two year old. were not having any luck. could she just not be ready.

answer from Julie: You can try potty training your two year old if she shows an interest! It's probably hit or miss at this age (ha ha) -- the way my daughter learned quickly was in the summertime - we just left her diaper off. She'd have a few accidents before she'd learn to run to the potty. You can always ask her if she wants to try the potty every time you use it. And making sure she tries going every hour or so after you eat.

If you're ever having to wrestle her into the bathroom, or if you both are having too much trouble with it (crying, angry) then leave it alone. There's no rush. It should be a gentle, positive experience.

You know your daughter best -- if she's curious, let her try. If she's curious and then isn't interested after a week or so, let her go back to diapers. Or you can put her in those thick, cotton training pants underwear. It depends on how much you care about wet pants, or accidents, or how much time you have to devote to helping her. You helping her is what will make the transition easy for both of you. If it isn't working, try again in a month or so. You have plenty of time.

I liked using the thick, training pants underwear because it looked so cute on my kids, and they were comfortable. Plus when they had an accident in those underpants, it felt yucky to them, and they would try to keep their pants dry (which is what you want).

Good luck!

Keep the questions coming. If you want to speak to any of the questions asked, just use the form above and tell me what question you are referring to, and I'll add you to the string.

MOTHER SAYS "RETURN TO HOME PAGE"